Death is overrated
by Redhood11686
Summary: Waking up in a video game universe had to be the most disorienting shit that had ever happened to Richard but hey, it could be worse. Stuck now in a universe on the brink of Galactic war and major drama Richard M. 'Matt' Farmer decides to fuck up the entirety of this universe to cause he has nothing better to do here.
1. Chapter 1

The first time he died Richard didn't really deserve it, at least not in his own opinion. He was driving a car when some drunk ass decided he'd run the light, at twenty-six years old he died of shrapnel from the crash and in his last moment was pretty sure he'd never see his family again. Whether it be because of Hell or because none of it existed he didn't know but it sure as hell scared him. As the darkness consumed his sight and the pain ebbed away he heard slight sirens and scoffed slightly.

"The other bastard better be dead." Were his last words as Richard passed from this earth.

When he woke up he was plenty annoyed, to say the least. With all the bright lights and hushed talking, he was pretty damn sure he was in a hospital and he hated hospitals. Sitting up slowly he rubbed his eyes and was greeted with the sight of what looked like two aliens watching him with surprise written all over their faces. With what little response he could he groaned and laid back down trying not to think about it too much.

"Great, I'm hallucinating." Looking up again at snickering the female being smirked. "I assure you, sir, you aren't hallucinating at all." Sitting up again Richard looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "So where am I then?" She smiled kindly and motioned to the window behind him as it opened. "In the medical ward of the citadel."

They soon left as he absent-mindedly nodded barely paying attention as he tried to make sense of this, picking up the glorified iPad he looked at the year and any major news hoping for some news. 'Lara Shephard, Commander of the Alliance frigate Normandy returns from her supposed death and is reinstated as a Spectre.' Dropping the datapad softly onto the bed he grabs some clothes the docs lent him and changed, he'd need a drink if he was to process being in the _god damn_ Mass Effect universe all of a sudden.

They let him go with little argument other than more scans to be sure and him promising to be careful, he guessed being nobody here was a plus. Stepping out he wracked his brain to remember where exactly he could get a drink here, he just hoped the layout was the same as in the game. His hand clenched in anger for a couple seconds as he thought about his newest predicament and scowled as he remembered how he got here and the damned driver.

"Fucking prick."

 _ **AN: Hey all of you awesome people, sorry it took so long to do anything but I hurt my hand at work and couldn't type but now I'm back. If you can't guess this is a self-insert into Mass Effect written in 3rd person, this first chapter is mainly to gauge whether you want to see more or not and it's for fun. Stay cool guys.**_

 _ **-Richard**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Guest: Actually that would be quite hilarious, especially if I can make it a flying one.**

To say Matt's had it easy to move around the citadel was an understatement, one that came with the territory of realizing it's not even your own body. What had happened was one too many times someone walked up and said 'thank you for your service' and eventually that led to asking who they thought he was. Imagine his own surprise to finding out he was a man who shared his own name but titled a war hero who was decommissioned after a lot of black ink was thrown over his military records.

As he dug through his new bodies history he came up with little results other than he technically does not exist, and in Alliance terms, he was as close to their own version of a Spectre as they could possibly get. Other than that he knew he had worked for Admiral Hackett in covert ops mainly based with Asari, which explained the majority of people who said thanks. Before being blacklisted himself a CNN news operator reported that if only his black ink would be removed he'd either be seen as another 'evil soldier' or a savior.

But one thing repeated for him that brought memories, memories that were not his own. Torfan, he remembered Torfan and a name. 'The Butcher's of Torfan' A squad he'd been apart of from what he could remember, they were the reason the Batarians kept to themselves. They had ruthlessly driven the Batarians back in response to the Skyllian Blitz, but it made no sense him and the squad and a member he couldn't remember were not seen as heroes so what else was it?

More digging brought up him being present during the attack on the Skyllian Verge but not as a fighter, reports mentioned helping others escape. It explained the Alliance's reluctance to put him on Torfan in the first place, they couldn't stand a loose cannon. But finding these things out for sure would mean going to Hackett and that would _not_ end well with how it was requested the rest of the team quietly disappear, after all, they couldn't lose the star player. But who it was continued to elude him, he was desperate and it seemed quite obvious.

* * *

The Citadel's security was definitely lacking with how easy it was to find and approach Hackett, what he was not expecting was a gun in his face by the man. I mean sure he was technically supposed to stay away but Jesus man, his surprise must have been on his face as Hackett raised an eyebrow.

"You broke pretty much _every_ damn Alliance law with what you did, I could execute you now and it wouldn't matter... so tell me, Matthew, what brings you here." Matt looked him dead in the eye assessing if what was said as true, nodding to himself he swallowed thickly. "I need answers, who was I exactly? What did I do on Torfan? WHo else in my squad was there? Where can I find them?"

Hackett obviously didn't expect this but soon busted out laughing. "I was told you were in the hospital, I didn't realize it was so severe you lost some of your memories." Matt only answered with a nod as the man sighed. "I should kill you, but it would be like killing an innocent man... the most I can tell you is that Shephard was with you, she led the squad so all answers would have to come from her."

"Where is she?" Hackett pointed out the window towards the embassies. "She's talking to Anderson at the moment, be careful though she's just as likely to kill you as I was." Hackett didn't get a response as Matt ran out of the room.

Shephard, Laura Shephard was his commanding officer but what happened? _"Take them and go, Laura, you shouldn't be liable for this."_ He frowned at the memory and continued on, what it all meant still confused him but if his own knowledge from his own world served him right than he didn't have long before she left again. In ME 2 she only came here for Kasumi and to talk to Anderson which meant she might have already done it.

He paid little attention to the receptionist as he walked into the room, now, to be honest, he _was_ expecting the gun but still, he was confused by the actual shot going off. He barely missed the bullet as he ducked down, letting whoever he now took over he quickly rushed Shephard grabbing the weapon disarming quickly as he threw the weapon off the ledge. She had a knife to his neck before he even had himself ready to grab her himself, her eyes dark in slight anger but mainly questioning as she looked him over.

"Give me one reason not to kill you, Matt." He glared coldly at her as he kicked her away. "Answers." He growled in frustration, Matt was finished with this bullshit of running for answers either he got them or he'd _give_ them a reason to kill him. "To what Matt, you should be _dead... I thought you were dead._ " She practically yelled. "You can tell me who I _am_ Laura, what I did, and what to fucking do."

She scowled and turned around motioning for her two boyfriends to leave, at least that's what Matt took it for. "You want the truth? Fine, you never had many morals Matt and when you told us to leave I had hoped you turn tail after covering us." At this point, she pokes him in the chest her anger rolling off her in waves. "But no, instead you _killed them all._ There was no shooting, from what we could tell you killed them face to face as they came in and when they wouldn't you went out to them."

Anderson's face obviously showed she was hiding something but what if it was just horror? Did he really kill all of them? He had no time to ask more as the door banged. "Commander Shephard, you called about an Alliance war criminal." He would have thought about it but he didn't, kicking her away she flew over Anderson's desk but he was off the balcony before anybody could stop him.

Landing on one of the vehicles he hung on trying not to die just yet, he didn't hear her yell for him to stop.

* * *

Sitting in one of the storage containers heading for OMega he thought about what he had learned, emotionally he was angry and as a soldier, he was angry too. But mainly he organized what he could remember from Hackett and Laura, they were comrades and where Matt came from that meant something. Here it meant betrayal as soon as they did something morally reprehensible, I mean for fuck's sake they were _soldiers_ they committed such acts all the damn time but this once it meant nothing.

He had little to no supplies but he had enough for the trip, for now, he let his anger occupy him as he leaned back onto the metal wall. He'd get his answers and some justice for that backstab at some point but for now, he had to get gear and learn to do what he could.

 **AN: Hey all of you guys, sorry it took so long but school started and I've been trying to graduate early. Any-who, I believe I've said this but again if it isn't my best I do apologize but I hope you enjoy.**

 **Also, who should I pair my make believe self with? So far I've got Laura, Tali, Miranda, Jack, Aria, and Samara. But I'd like to hear your thoughts, maybe I should do someone who isn't really a prevalent character but it's up to you. Polls are up through reviews as of the posting of this chapter so please enjoy.**


	3. Chapter 3

**What's going on you guys? SO sorry for how long it has taken but I'm finally releasing the first chapter, but first replies to you guys and what we have so far as votes.**

 **Pteaset: Thanks, wasn't sure you guys actually would lol**

 **Tom712: Yeah I realize that now, thanks for letting me know though I wouldn't have realized with all that has been going on.**

 **Danen5: Glad you are enjoying it, I hope you continue to do so.**

 **Tali: 2**

 **Miranda: 3**

 **Laura: 2**

 **Aria: 1**

 **Kelly Chambers: 1**

 **So that's what we have got so far, now enjoy.**

Chapter 2: Venom

He breathed in the seemingly heavy atmosphere as he looked at the Asari in front of him, Aria the Queen of Omega, as she smirked at him too much like a shark for his own liking. He couldn't be too mad seeing how she owned all the cards in this little conversation, she only had to space him or send him to the Alliance to avoid a shit storm.

"You have a Spectre looking for you, do you have a reason I shouldn't space you or should I just have them do it?" Her confidence despite the situation amused him as he looked on at her. "The only reason I got is that I can probably out kill anybody you got here, and I'm willing to do whatever the _fuck_ is necessary right now."

Fuck Shephard and the Alliance, whatever loyalty this old version of who he is now had was gone, Shephard proved that shit was unreliable real fast. Aria laughed loudly and boisterous, clues he picked up on to see if it was a real laugh as she looked at him analyzing his every move. She slid a pistol across the table and an omnitool with some credits on it.

"You've got balls, I like that. On there are enough credits for some basic armor and a secondary weapon, you're going with the blue suns area, I have too many people going after this _one_ fucker and I want it over with _today_." She smirked ferally at him. "That is if you can live up to what you say." He chuckled softly. "Consider it done." Standing to leave he quickly pushed past the bodyguards and headed out of Afterlife.

* * *

Blue Suns were annoying motherfuckers, especially the Batarians despite his thoughts he didn't shoot the bastard in the back of the head. He had some basic combat armor, nothing special or military grade like the merc groups but it would be enough. He didn't plan to sit still in one place long enough for Archangel to kill him, if anything snipers were the most annoying fuckers here so it didn't bother him to stick it to the bastard.

Despite the fact that Jaroth considered him a lesser being he was able to make a deal with the Salarian to not shoot him in the back and to also get him a better weapon than the hand cannon. He was good but he wasn't John Wick, he wasn't putting what was a peashooter in comparison to what Archangel had against said merc. He got what he wanted but at the price of a single debt to be called in at any time, either Matt had to kill the bastard before he could call it in or he went through with something that would probably make people wanna kill him even more than they already did.

His eyes moved over the other minors mercs that would be the first ground force, most were quite disappointing to him and probably to everyone around him. Faster than he could blink he had pushed down his helmet visor because low and fucking behold there she stood. She-Who-Called-Security-On-him, Spectre Laura Shephard and with his luck she was after the same person as him.

It wasn't really a choice, between forever being hunted by Aria or being held prisoner by the commander he'd rather choose Shephard. Not because he thought her merciful, Matt was too jaded for that opinion to do anything but amuse him, no it was because the Alliance would have to have him stand trial and that meant alienating everybody they protected by revealing everything that happened during the Skyllian Blitz and why they really won.

Politicians would never go for it, so they would either have him killed or they would let him go, he didn't mind death considering he had already gone through it but he would rather avoid it now.

His thoughts were cut short as he heard the go sign from the merc groups, these idiots ran forward blindly, Matt stuck back a bit and counted the shots and how long he had for each reload. Using that to his advantage he moved forward, granted it was slower than the others but at least he wasn't dead, he was about to head into the building but decided otherwise. Shephard probably killed all the others already which meant she was chatting with the Turian, climbing his way up the wall to the window he wasted no time in pulling Archangel out of the window and to the ground below.

Jumping into cover before the Turian could blow his head off he winced as he rolled his shoulders, he'd have to remember that unlike the others he wasn't an invincible soldier. Saving his life Jaroth used that moment to charge forward aiming to kill Garrus, jumping back up the wall he climbed through the window surprising Miranda as Laura and Jacob helped Garrus.

He was a brawler and he wasn't sure how exactly she realized it but probably on the way out the window after grabbed her in a headlock. "You may be perfect physically but it doesn't make you a match for everybody bitch." He never was a fan of Miranda.

Matt didn't make it far and he wasn't surprised with his luck, he didn't really have anywhere to go other than the emergency exits which were crawling with the Blood Pack who would shoot him on sight. Despite his physical prowess, he wasn't much of a match for biotics, so when he was pulled back to Shephard and her group faster then he could yell shit he kinda had no choice but to let it happen.

"Hi." He said as he looked at the Commander and her three stooges, sure being upside down was a bit bad for him after long periods but at the moment he might as well stall. Tearing his helmet off Laura studied his face and sighed, as she grabbed her sidearm. "Honestly I should kill you." She smirked. "But nobody knows you exist much either so really I could do whatever I want." He raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. "What?! Don't leave me hanging woman, the fuck is gonna happen... I could give some suggestions."

It probably wasn't smart but being a sarcastic ass seemed the best course of action at that moment in time. "You have skill so I'll put it to use, you're gonna help us and at the end of our little suicide mission you die well then..." She shrugged. "But if you live, then I'll let you do as you please capiche?"

"I don't really have a choice sooooo, sure."

 _ **AN: Heyo all of you guys, sorry it's so late but I've been caught up. What do you think of it so far? And what do you think I should dig into more? Backstory through interrogation, or something else? Either way I hope you enjoy.**_

 _ **-Matt**_


	4. AN

Hey guys sorry to do this, but it's gonna take a bit longer to get the chapter done than I had planned. Mainly due to my own stupidity and not saving the doc before closing out the tab, other than that the chapter _is_ gonna be quite a bit longer than the others and yes there is backstory.

I hop y'all can forgive me for that but in other news, I wanted to know what you guys would think about either a Harry Potter, or PJO or even something else like Naruto one-shot in the meantime.

As always, you guys are awesome.

-Matt


	5. Chapter 5

_**What's up you guys, so there won't be any questions answered today, I do apologize but I figured we'd get right into it. Anyway, this chapter will be plenty longer than my others and I hope you enjoy.**_

 _ **Laura: 4**_

 _ **Miranda: 4**_

 _ **Liara: 1**_

 _ **Tali: 1**_

 _ **Kelly Chambers: 1**_

Chapter 4: History

"Tell me about what happened after you came back from Torfan."

He had walked into Udina's office attempting to ignore the looks he was given by his secretary and the man himself, he should have expected to be taken aside by Anderson after Udina called for him to be arrested. "This is your only chance to leave, they want your head for what happened." He had hoped Laura would step in, but she didn't.

Miranda frowned and leaned forward.

"You speak of how close you two were, but how close was it exactly?"

They had grown up together, his mom tasked Laura to watch his back and kick his ass if needed. Back in Torfan she had told him he that she was afraid he'd turn out like his grandpa and only feel good on a battlefield killing people. She bugged him about his smoking habit and how his mom and sister would kick his ass for it, Laura was his moral compass but by the time she had confronted him about her fears, it was too late.

-Flashback-

 _She stared at him frowning a bit as he continued to pick of Batarian's with his sniper, nudging his shoulder so he would look at her she put on a smile. "Hey, evac's almost here, you can stop now." He put out the cigarette he was smoking and sighed._

 _"We both know as soon as that thing takes off it'll blow us to shreds unless someone stops them." She winced. "Than let it be someone else, come back... with me and your mom and your sister, we can be family again like we were as kids."_

"Why make that comment?" Miranda asked him as she listened and he chuckled. "Because I hadn't been a member of my own family for a long time, I barely talked to them back then."

 _"Don't bother Laura, they gave up on that a long time ago." He said softly as he sat up and looked at her. "If you don't come back then you will never see me on friendly terms again." A weak threat and she knew it, but he gave her props for trying. He already knew she had given up and would sooner throw him in a psychiatric ward then stay by his side. "That'll happen anyway Laura... go home, be happy." He knew she had already left as soon as he spoke, but it helped ease his mind and clear it of the anger he felt._

"So she left you, I know she's not a great person but she loved you." He laughed pitifully, showing the signs of the breaking man he was. "And she gave it up to look after her own morals, she'd rather have all of us die than do something like what I did to make them all survive... or at least that was her back then." Miranda chuckled. "Tell me about how your little friendship ended."

 _It was a couple weeks before she had left, he was on watch and had come back from taking out a small party sent to kill them, he walked in the room and Shephard was pointing her sidearm at him. "Give me a reason not to shoot you myself for what you did." She meant how he had killed them and burned the bodies, Laura believed in honor which meant letting families find their loved ones and in her own opinion, he had just desecrated what it meant to be a soldier._

 _Quick as a cobra he grabbed the barrel of the gun and ripped it out of her hand before slamming her into the wall and had the gun under her chin. "IF you're gonna shoot me, Shephard, then do it, but you better be damn sure I can't kill you first."_

"It's funny because that was one of the few moments in my life I openly regret." Miranda gaped at the man before her confused. "You had every right to kill her then and there, why didn't you?"

He laughed softly. "Because then it would have proved her right." At that moment he got up seeing how the promised time was now over. "I'll be back tomorrow," he said simply as he left the room with Miranda nodding, barely paying attention as she was lost in her thoughts.

-Flashback over-

Shephard burst into the armory as Jacob and Matt looked over a shotgun speaking softly, turning their attention to her she growled in anger as she looked at Matt. "Personally I don't give a shit about what you think of me, or what that you tell Miranda our history but the moment you start sowing distrust into my crew is the moment I throw you out that airlock, you have issues with me and they are more than likely justified but we all have a likely chance at dying from this mission and I won't have you having others disappear." Jacob, taking this as a sign to let them be left the room.

Turning back to the shotgun Matt chuckled. "If I was scared of death I wouldn't have stayed back there on Torfan, and you all wouldn't be so weary of me." Turning back to her he sighed still seeing the glare on her face. "No, this is about how you don't want them to know the hard truth about you, not about any distrust because we all know that you have the uncanny ability to make others trust you."

"So if you'd like to threaten me then you better make damn sure you have the conviction to carry it out, and despite how you must hate me for stomping on your precious fucking morals you won't kill me." He grabbed her by the arm and slammed her against the wall. "I have lived a long time Laura, I have seen horrors on the battlefield that would make people forgive me for what I did and file me as something to be pitied." He let her go and took a deep breath. "I have many regrets, but

"Come find me when you are ready to have a conversation." Was all he said as he left the room.

Walking down the hall he took calming breaths as he practically fled to his own holdings, flashes from PTSD are caused by moments of anger or fear. Thinking further than he was would make the images his eyes couldn't stop seeing much worse. He remembered the faces of many of the people he has killed, hard not to when he had to walk over their bodies to get to safety. He had no regrets defending himself, but he was still human and if he regretted anything it was the children and wives those bastards had.

They had called him a monster for showing no emotions about what he had done, but in truth, after it was all done and finished he lost everything. Any small amount of food keeping him going was lost as he took in the blood covering his armor and the bodies strewn around him. He showed no emotion because it was ho he was trained if a soldier expected to live through their ordeal with some amount of sanity you had to become emotionless.

'You can cope when we're done and you are with a shrink.' Major Kyle had told him that when he asked what everyone should be told in terms of how to do this. The only problem is that Kyle didn't wait that long to try and cope, nobody knew if he was alive but the man had left them, fled into no man's land.

Sliding down the wall of his quarters he tried to sleep it off, closing his eyes he breathes softly trying to forget all of it.

* * *

When he woke up again Laura was sitting next to him, she didn't say nothing just offered a granola bar and some water. He sighed a bit and looked over at her as he began to eat questioning what she wanted.

"Come to yell at me?"

She shook her head. "No, just wanted to talk... mainly about why I did what I did." He raised an eyebrow. "It's fine, you had your reasons." She elbowed him in the side lightly. "Let me finish will you." Getting a nod she went on.

"I fucked up, I've done a lot of things to you and yeah it was because I was hiding behind my morals. I never really blamed you, but you were the sacrificial lamb they were using and I was looking to blame someone, _anyone_." He frowned. "Why apologize now then?" She chuckled softly. "Because I want to try and fix it because I can't do this with a crew that doesn't trust me... and because you're the most important person on this ship to me right now."

He'd never admit it, but holy shit he was happy about that, confused as all hell but happy. "That's nice and all, but shouldn't you not be letting any of the men on this ship hear you? Specifically Garrus." He said in a teasing tone as she scowled. "Garrus is my friend, not a love interest that right is for... ah nevermind." Matt snickered a bit before turning solemn again.

"In all honesty, you're okay I never blamed you I was mostly angry about just how easy it was to forget me and who I was that you thought I didn't have a reason." She nodded, and after a moment she smirked. "So we good? I know you aren't always for the 'mushy crap' as you call it." He laughed at that and stood as he helped her to her feet. "We'll be okay for now, but it's unlikely we are ever gonna be great again, and as I've said my entire life 'mushy crap' is okay with you, cause I know your gonna be honest about it to me."

 **Hey guys, sorry it took so long to get this up, it isn't nearly as long as I wanted it but any further would have produced romance elements I wanted to wait for till the final votes are in as of this chapter. If Miranda and Laura are tied again than I'll have to figure something out, otherwise here's to moving forward with the story. R &R please, and enjoy.**


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